Judgments often prove wrong - don't they?

I find most of the people pretty quick at forming opinions and passing judgments, however, basis varies from person to person. For some lending an ear is enough, few believe their sight, and for some it’s going with what masses say. Let me quote an example here - One of my professors in college days reiterated an incident wherein a student was passing by and saw this male professor holding a girl student , almost leaning on her. What next! Whole college knew about their “so called affair”. However, the fact of the matter was, the girl was feeling giddy and was about to fell down and the professor was lending a helping hand to her to protect her from falling. So when people say “believe your eyes” – Should we?

We see many people passing around statements claiming that they can judge a person within minutes or seconds and they start shooting their mouth without realizing that it can impact people emotions and reputation.  One of the lesson I learned in my early life that what you see through your eyes and hear through your ears could be wrong as well. To ensure that we have sound judgment, we must wait for the pattern to emerge.

Another incident that very appropriately portrays our judgmental tendencies is an anecdote shared by one of my friend; she was new to an organization and saw a colleague talking on phone all the time in a very slow voice and in a hush hush manner. She was quick at making  judgment and took it to be personal calls that he makes far too often in office. However when they started working as a team; she realized that it is his natural tendency to speak slowly and in lower voice even with the clients keeping in view his surroundings. When she shared her perceived connotation they both could not help but laughed!!

In my view, when people are in public place they are at their best behavior. Their ego alterations may be both congenital and acquired. However, congenital ego takes a back seat in public. In other words, ego alterations may be the final common consequence of both constitutional and environmental pathogenic factors. The psyche is usually preoccupied with the Super-Ego functions and doubts as to whether these aspects of one's behavior are "good enough" for the situation at hand. Thus, when one begins to act in unfamiliar circumstances, one often appears to be controlling one's behavior to fit in the internal stereotype of "good behavior. Typically, after a person enters in new environment and gains a bit of positive acceptance, he/she settles down into the usual Ego-mode behavior.

 

This is the very reason why it is recommended to observe the “Patterns” before making judgments. Patterns normally bring the congenital ego to surface hence facilitates sound judgment.